Dear Blog,
You know we have planning to meet for some time now, but it just didn't happen. So why now, you say? well I just needed to talk to someone, and I guess you'r the best listener.
So what do we talk about?
The trip to Conoor. But then, I wonder, if I put these thoughts into words for you, will they become more of a reality to me? Will they define the way I will perceive the future? I guess thats another reason why we didnt meet earlier either - not to define thoughts and encase then in a tomb of words.
So, do I tell you about the coming trip or not?To start with, why am I going on this trip at all?
I have just turned 50! yeah, half a century of walking on this earth and using its resources.
What do I feel about that?
Humbled, I guess, and conscious of Time.Also, looking back, I realise that the path I have walked and the choices I had made made may not have been the best, but they've shaped me. I am harder, more suspicious, less trusting...Did you know that someone once told me that my name translated to "trusting' and that it was a very dangerous character to have in this world. I guess he was right.
So how come this trip?
Well, now that I'm 50, I want to do things for myself, before I am too old to do anything else. I had hoped that I would travel, see places, do things, explore possibilities and spread my wings, to stretch beyond my limitations. but now I'm 50, and I wonder...where did Time go? Bad choices; wasted time, limited goals, and folded wings. But who cares? If I wait any longer for my Choices to support me, then I am wasting even more time. Time is life, they say, and wasted Time is a wasted life.
Am I cribbing then?
Yes, I guess. But now that I have put them down in words, I guess I could shake them off and move on. So this trip to Conoor is the first step of independence and self discovery (even if my daughter is coming along).
