Dear Blog,
You know we have planning to meet for some time now, but it just didn't happen. So why now, you say? well I just needed to talk to someone, and I guess you'r the best listener.
So what do we talk about?
The trip to Conoor. But then, I wonder, if I put these thoughts into words for you, will they become more of a reality to me? Will they define the way I will perceive the future? I guess thats another reason why we didnt meet earlier either - not to define thoughts and encase then in a tomb of words.
So, do I tell you about the coming trip or not?To start with, why am I going on this trip at all?
I have just turned 50! yeah, half a century of walking on this earth and using its resources.
What do I feel about that?
Humbled, I guess, and conscious of Time.Also, looking back, I realise that the path I have walked and the choices I had made made may not have been the best, but they've shaped me. I am harder, more suspicious, less trusting...Did you know that someone once told me that my name translated to "trusting' and that it was a very dangerous character to have in this world. I guess he was right.
So how come this trip?
Well, now that I'm 50, I want to do things for myself, before I am too old to do anything else. I had hoped that I would travel, see places, do things, explore possibilities and spread my wings, to stretch beyond my limitations. but now I'm 50, and I wonder...where did Time go? Bad choices; wasted time, limited goals, and folded wings. But who cares? If I wait any longer for my Choices to support me, then I am wasting even more time. Time is life, they say, and wasted Time is a wasted life.
Am I cribbing then?
Yes, I guess. But now that I have put them down in words, I guess I could shake them off and move on. So this trip to Conoor is the first step of independence and self discovery (even if my daughter is coming along).
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ReplyDeleteOh Blog, I should have written this earlier...going to Conoor was, I think programmed by God, cos guess what? After we reached there, I was invited to the Ooty Book club and my book was accepted into the shelves of the Nilgiri Library, which I am told , is the oldest library in South India!...Woah! And then guess what next? I met Lulu..you remember her, my cousin whom I hadn't met for like 30 years! The cherry on the icing was being interviewed on All India Radio...What more could one ask for?
ReplyDeleteDid I meet God there? Yes. Sitting outside our cabin in the early morn, at dawn, it was only Him and I, and when we talked, he made me laugh and cry all at the same time...The He whispered,"I have a surprise for you.." And boy, was the suprise, a surprise! not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be interviewed by AIR, and that too in Ooty, so far from home. The acceptance into the library was also a treat...Oh Blog, isnt He wonderful?!